3 least


I swear, I am not a hater and I don’t indulge in hater juice!

How is everyone doing today?

There are places I absolutely do not like to visit in Lagos and this dislike is not just random, it’s informed by a variety of reasons ranging from horrendous customer service to just plain principle issues.

This doesn’t mean that I am not tempted to go to these places, maybe in the future but for now these are my least favourite places to hang out in Lagos. I know that my patronage may not count for much but nobody cares…

So I have decided to make a list of my 3 least favourite spots in Lagos.

RAPSODY’S: This is my absolute least favourite spot. It makes me super sad to admit this fact because the food is good, the cocktails are amazing and the services are decent. The story changed for me last year when they were having some renovation done and I had gone to the Cinema with my friend. We came up the stairs and I could not believe my eyes when I saw some “white” construction guy repeatedly hit a labourer (Nigerian) across the face. I immediately confronted him ( I think you all know that) and asked if that’s how they beat each other in their country. He was quick to call me a bitch and I just had to walk away not without insulting the stupid Nigerian boy o! I feel like he should have beaten the stupid dude with his Akpu strength and let police come and carry everybody!

See, I know that violence is not the answer but that day, I felt something hurt in me, so deep.


BOGOBIRI: Bogobiri stands for everything I like about the Lagos cool kid scene. (Read How to be a Lagos Cool kid).

Bogobiri has got live music, young Lagosians who try too hard, socially conscious young Nigerians with their Ankara shorts and natural hair and the use of bamboo in the structure is everything. So you will understand when I say that it hurts me that I had such a horrible experience there. So a few weeks ago I went to Bogobiri with a few friends and the first thing I saw was the fact that it seemed like all the White people seemed to have a seat and miraculously all the black people happened to be standing. Now there could have been a number of reasons why the white folks were seated, it could have been that we Nigerians “did” African time while others came on time and found themselves nice seats. My friends know that I am sensitive, maybe a little too sensitive and I think it comes from reading about slavery and apartheid from a very young age. (Yes! Blame the parents)

Well, as though that was not enough, I placed an order for a bottle of water, the waitress looked at me for a second in the most annoying manner and retorted, its 400 naira o! I immediately began to wonder, do I look like I might not be able to pay for a 400 naira bottle of water? I just kept thinking about my three degrees, like Jesus, so after three degrees and a mildly successful career I still look I can’t afford a bottle of water… Choi! I don suffer!

My reply was simple “I’ll have a bottle please” when she came back with the water, I didn’t only give her a mild lecture (because I didn’t want to create a scene, normally my lectures are long and loud), I also took a picture of her planning to upload on twitter. Unfortunately, my phone went crazy last week and I lost my pictures.

OASIS SHARWARMA: I do not feel bad about what I am about to write because the Shawarma sucked anyway. A few months ago, a colleague and I went to his favourite Amala joint behind oasis in ikeja o. we decided to buy bottled water from the super market and then proceed to Amala. For some reason my co worker decided to get himself shawarma for later and we stopped there. The guy began to make the shawarma and he was using his bare hands. I called his attention to that fact stating that I feel he should use a pair of gloves since he was handling food. He didn’t take it lightly, he became really offended and asked me what right I had to talk to him in that manner, me ordinary woman!

Oh dear, let’s just say I gave him a session of my long and loud lectures and I called the health department to report his business.

These are my 3 least favorite places to visit in Lagos and I hope you can understand why!

According to Larz



  1. About the shawarma bit, come on! Forgive me, miss, but I think you brought that upon yourself. It’s Lagos, or, it’s Nigeria. Everyone knows these traders barely keep their bodies/hands tidy/clean while handing food that’ll be directly eaten. Surely, the trader should’ve handled it with clean gloves, but does any of them ever do that? Iya-alakara? Mama-boli at’epa? The guy hawking buns and puff-puff, who knows where the fork he uses has been? These are simply things we don’t think about too much in Nigeria as there’ll be no good result from it except if the change is enforced by punishment. I’m certain you also knew calling on the health department probably did nothing? But what do I know? I’m just some guy! 😀

    Good read. I’ve never heard of Bogobiri. I must be very local in this Lagos.


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