HOW TO BE AN ANGRY BLACK (NIGERIAN) WOMAN

15 h

I am used to being called angry. In fact, it is no longer new to me, it has been said behind my back, some have said it to my face and some have jokingly implied it. This doesn’t change the fact that I will speak my mind. I will speak it when I want to, how I want to and say exactly what I want. I have refused to be shut up since I was a child. I remember the time one prominent adult in my family said children are only meant to be seen and not heard, I politely made my point. I shall be seen and heard. Maybe I will not be a nuisance about it if you are lucky, but I shall be seen and heard.

This post may seem dramatic to you but this is the reality that women live. If you doubt me please go on social media and see for yourself.  It seems to me as though every time a woman speaks up with confidence as touching any issue especially those concerning the woman and her realities the accusations start to pour in.

My favourite one is “you are such an angry woman and no one will marry you” epele, marriage police.

The hardest part for me is that the men who make these marriage threats aren’t even worthy of such, like, if an educated, enlightened woman was given to you, you wouldn’t know what to do with her. Simply put, you’re trash! LOL

It is my discovery that he moment you’re not passive about inequality and bad treatment of women in the society or you mistakenly rip off the imaginary tape placed on your mouth by patriarchy,  you become angry, loud and an all round nag.

There are five major steps on how to be an angry black woman.

STEP ONE: Speak up against gender based violence or gender inequality in general. This is the fastest and surest way of becoming an angry woman. This is how I earned my badge. Speaking up about any issue affecting the quality of life of women will earn you this badge so pick up your badge swiftly.

 

STEP TWO: Have an opinion about social issues. This unsettles men and women accepting of patriarchy. It seems to me as though any knowledge outside that of home making just labels you as bad woman. One who will never be submissive? They can see in the invisible mirror that such a woman will talk while her husband speaks… who the hell are you vagina bearing human, how dare you have an opinion on social issues, upsetting patriarchy!

 

STEP THREE: it is not enough to have an opinion; it is even more sacrilegious to air such an opinion. A woman must be seen not heard damn! How dare you discuss the hike in fuel prices or the fact that our economy is in shambles and standard of living has taken a nose dive?  How dare you discuss politics and get all emotional about it, don’t you have period cramps to deal with?

 

STEP FOUR: Have a passionate conversation or speak intensely about any topic outside kitchen wares, bedroom duties to your partner, seeking advice on how to pray for an abusive partner, keeping your home, sharing war stories about how you almost died when your husband slapped you etc. Why re you getting so emotional? Why do you have so much anger?

 

STEP FIVE: Demand to be treated with respect. I do not have to explain this point. See, if you want to be labeled a nag fast enough, demand that your partner or any male in general treat you with respect as to time, promises etc then your way to “naghood” will be paved with gold.

 

STEP SIX: I you really want to offend the gods, make any statement about the equality of men and women or do anything to advance the rights of women. What!!?? The Gods are angry! And you will be judged!

 

STEP SEVEN:  Write what you want on your Facebook wall. The moment you express your views on your own Facebook page, the assistant Zuckerbergs, editor of face book and lord justices of what’s right will attack you with things like (A woman shouldn’t write such, it speaks bad of you and no man likes that) and if you have the animal gut to state that you have written your words on your page…. Viola you have achieved the angry status.

STEP EIGHT: Think about the word Feminism. Angry woman card delivered!

 

 

Hey, you know I love comments and interaction, lets get down in the comments section below.

According To Larz

 

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8 Replies to “HOW TO BE AN ANGRY BLACK (NIGERIAN) WOMAN”

  1. Marriage police😂😂😂 Ayaf faint. I’m a guy and for me marriage is overrated. Marriage doesn’t necessarily mean family and the fact that marriage is the yardstick by which most women in our community are judged is simply disturbing. And it’s a cycle that needs to be broken. I saw how anxious my mother was for my sister to get married then get pregnant then give birth….. She hasn’t recorded that level of anxiousness for my sister to get a job and have a career. Now my sister is married, all is well, the issue of getting a job and forging a career is now just occasional advise and not relentless push – unlike the “get married” push. Weird thing was my dad wasn’t that bothered about my sister getting married (or didn’t show it, at any rate). So some women have become complicit in this “get married to get validated” cycle. Needs to end though, because at the end, we are all human beings. Born the same way, die the same way. Wonder why we are treated differently in-between.

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  2. It’s as if your intelligence should only show by the pay check you contribute to the family. When you bring that intelligence to friendships/relationships, you are suddenly ‘dramatic’. Rubbish multiplied by nonsense.

    Like

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