STORY TIME: My Wife died Last Year!

What’s the craziest thing a guy has said to you because he wants to get with you? Oh! In case you’re wondering, that’s a legitimate question and I would love to read answers in the comment section.

update-1

 

Today’s post is about the outrageous things men do to try to get with women. Today’s story time post is more elaborate than a Nigerian wedding! Please enjoy…

This didn’t really happen to me but I have permission to tell this supremely juicy story!

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Abiola met Bode on her way to church one beautiful Sunday evening. B introduced himself as a teen pastor at a well known church.

They exchanged numbers and they started to talk. Abiola is a business woman who’s grown, does her own thing but super grounded and Mr. B was exuding all the right kinds of vibes, ticking all the boxes upandan! He has a super decent Job, loves God and seemed like he has=d a good head on his shoulders. Naturally they became friends and kept in touch.

Chai!

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Here’s my number, allow me to ruin your life…

You know I am a lawyer…  there’s something called discoveries in the initial stages of a civil suit. That’s basically when you do interrogatories (disclose major issues and information) and fill form 20… I digress.

Boy girl relationships are plagued with the initial discovery stage, where both people volunteer information that they find important abi!? Basically time to get over the sheepish smile and butterflies, get down to business and determine if bros is worth the stress.

Personally I find getting to know new guys stressful but I have been told I am not normal LOL

That was When Mr. Man dropped the Bomb! “I was married and my wife died last year” Chai! See heart something! My friend was feeling all kinds of emotional…. He went ahead to add that she died in a car crash and since then he hasn’t felt the need to try to meet women… In short my friend is blessed amongst women. LOL

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My friend was super touched and she wanted to just hold Bros and tell him everything would be alright but instead, she smiled and assured him that all will be well. She came home and told me of how she met this 34 years old widower and he’s the sweetest etc…

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I wasn’t there but common sense left my body too! 

 

I was already picking out hashtags and coming up with colour and theme for the wedding.

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Bridesmaid mode was almost activated! 

We established that she had nothing against marrying a widower and that God probably brought her his way. (I know, I feel ashamed every time I dork out and behave like a girl)

I offered words of encouragement to her(with my big mouth)

 

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Please who asked me!?

The fact that I can’t seem to find Manpiness (relationship induced happiness) didn’t mean that my girl shouldn’t find hers….

On a totally unrelated note, ok I lie, its totally related. I stalk people on like sometimes (the good kind)

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Stalking just helps you get a sense of knowing a new guy without asking all the crazy questions… I am a weirdo yes?

I swear we weren’t snooping, but Facebook happened.

The guy popped up on my mutual friends list on Facebook and we decided to take it as the lord giving us permission to snoop and stalk and so we did.

GUESS WHAT!? MR B, HAS A WIFE THE ONLY WAHALA IS THAT SHE IS NOT DEAD! SHE IS ALIVE AND HAS AN INCREDIBLE SMILE.

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Did I mention that within the one and half month of “talking” with my friend he managed to indirectly borrow Ten thousand naira?

We got that back!

 

I can’t deal! Why wish your wife dead? Why?

I want to know your experiemces ladies…. Leave your coments below. I hope you enjoyed my story time post today…

Kisses

According to Larz

 

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15 Replies to “STORY TIME: My Wife died Last Year!”

  1. So glad to have you back!
    Amazing story in the most splendid, lighthearted way! And the memes?!?Holding my sides!
    Kudos.
    …and don’t go away again, please

    Like

  2. Lol, I have heard more than enough, 1) my wife died last year, lol 2.) We just have a son we aint married and im like yo! Bro the wedding band is just a signpost yeah? 3.)I’m getting a divorce she not what I expected her to be, by the way madam was at home 7 months gone and I’m like #why lord why? #why me lord, guess that was transferred via Bluetooth or let’s take a drive into the past, infrared I guess, good to have you back sis.

    Like

  3. Due diligence is really needed nowadays oh…I met one who was unhappily married with 2 kids and I found out he had another one out of wedlock to a man he was also professing love to.

    Like

  4. Sadly my friend fell for the normal vibe of, ‘ my marriage is as good as over, we are in d process of divorce, oh she is such a jezebel’. She didn’t carry out due diligence and she is now a baby mama. The man is no where to be seen. She pays all her baby’s bill.

    http://www.akaglue.com

    Like

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