I know, I know, I haven’t blogged in a million years and I am sorry. In fact I use this medium to register my profound apology for not showing up every week as promised.
I want to share with you a conversation I had with my father.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from my dad, we spoke about some random things and then he reminded me, have you spoken to your uncle? I had no answer.
We need a bit of a back story here: See, keeping in touch is not my strong suit? I am not great with phone calls and I do not like to generally keep in touch with people. There is no reason for this; I am just a person who’s consumed in the present. If you are not in my daily life, it’s likely that I become oblivious of your existence.
You see, growing up, I saw my dad as an island. He did his own thing in his own way he didn’t care much about friendships and relationships. He wouldn’t call in a favour even if he had the means. He was strongly against nepotism and he didn’t see the need to use his influence when he could do things on the merit. I was impressed mostly because he seemed to get by.
From where I stood, everything seemed all right. We didn’t lack, we had most things we wanted and needed and I liked that he could speak his mind to anyone at anytime. I wanted to be like him.
I remember when I wrote my Jamb Examination, I sat at the very front of the hall, everyone at the exam center thought I was crazy but I was determined to be my Father’s child, I was going to write my exams devoid of any form of cheating and I was going to get into a university all by merit.
I wrote the examination untainted and I got a great score but getting into a university was like pulling teeth, even when I got the admission, I couldn’t secure the course I wanted.
Fast forward to 2016, of course I live in a world right between the examples of my father and life lessons I learnt first hand.
I have learned that nothing in this world will beat merit but I have also learned in the harsh Nigerian conditions that there is nothing wrong with building healthy lasting relationships that can influence one’s exposure to ideas, information and opportunities.
While I might not still stand for nepotism, I am not completely sold out to my dads methods. I have learnt to invest in relationships, a phone call here and there, meet ups from time to time.
Sharing of ideas and opportunities are capable of changing one’s life forever. I have seen the power of putting ones self in the flow of information and how it can help announce your hard work.
One must invest in friendships and lasting relationships, keep in touch with schoolmates, meet up with online friends, attend networking events and make an effort all while exercising wisdom.
Merit is good, hard work is even better but all will die in obscurity without the influence of the right company which most times carry the actual information you need.
Back to my conversation with my dad:
After I answered his question in the negative, he proceeded to tell me. ‘Ah, don’t be like me, I didn’t place value on some relationships over the years and I regret that. Value your friendships and relationships and make sure you feed them you don’t know where everyone will end up in life.’
For a minute I was quiet, I never thought my dad would ever say this, I really wanted to be him and sometimes I felt like I was compromising on the standards when I reach out to people for certain things, but here he was realizing the error of his ways… it might not be too late to change, but its definitely a little late and time lost cannot be regained.
Let me know if this post makes sense to you in the comment section. Tell me about your most recent life lessons too!
Love and light!
According to Larz